Sure, here are some witty comebacks for know-it-alls:
- “If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth.”
- “Ah, the resident expert on everything. How charming.”
- “Congratulations on having all the answers. Shame they’re all wrong.”
- “If knowledge is power, you must be the next superhero.”
- “Wow, I didn’t know Google had a walking, talking version.”
- “I see the ‘Know-It-All’ sign flashing above your head again.”
- “Let me guess, you invented knowledge too?”
- “If I need an encyclopedia, I’ll be sure to ask… anyone but you.”
- “Ever thought of hosting your own TED talk? I hear they love people who know everything.”
- “You should put ‘Professional Know-It-All’ on your resume.”
- “And here we have the rare species: The Know-It-All in its natural habitat.”
- “The oracle has spoken! Please, enlighten us with more of your infinite wisdom.”
- “You know so much, you should consider renting out some space in your brain.”
- “If I ever need someone to recite Wikipedia, I’ll give you a call.”
- “I’m impressed! I didn’t know they made human encyclopedias.”
- “Are you sure you don’t want to apply for a job at the Library of Congress?”
- “You know, they say arrogance is the camouflage of insecurity.”
- “And here I thought I knew things. Silly me!”
- “I’m so grateful for your constant stream of unsolicited advice.”
- “Your know-it-all aura is blinding me with its brilliance.”
- “If only there were a Nobel Prize for ‘Most Informed Know-It-All.'”
- “I’d be jealous of your knowledge if it weren’t completely insufferable.”
- “Oh look, another opportunity for you to tell us all how much you know.”
- “Is there a support group for people addicted to sharing trivia?”
- “I bet your search history is just a list of ‘Did You Know?’ facts.”
- “You’re like Wikipedia, but without the ‘Edit’ button.”
- “Let me guess, you’re allergic to being wrong?”
- “Ah, the human encyclopedia strikes again!”
- “If I ever need advice, I’ll be sure to avoid you.”
- “Do you ever get tired of being the smartest person in the room? Oh wait, you’re not.”
- “If arrogance was a sport, you’d be the MVP.”
- “Did you come here to talk or to give a lecture?”
- “I’ve never met someone so proficient in making others feel inferior.”
- “You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. You never stop talking!”
- “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the Genius Bar was open for business.”
- “The Know-It-All Convention called, they want their keynote speaker back.”
- “If I wanted a lecture, I’d enroll in a university.”
- “Ah, the sage advice of the self-proclaimed expert.”
- “Is there anything you don’t know? Oh right, humility.”
- “I’m glad you know everything, because I’m exhausted from pretending to listen.”
- “Let me guess, you’ve got a fact for every occasion?”
- “I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a walking encyclopedia.”
- “You must have a PhD in talking down to people.”
- “I see the ‘I Know Everything’ button is still stuck in the ‘on’ position.”
- “If I wanted to feel dumb, I’d just talk to you more often.”
- “I’m glad you’re here to educate us. We were all desperately in need of a lecture.”
- “Do you ever get tired of being the smartest person in the room? Oh wait, you’re not.”
- “If arrogance was a sport, you’d be the MVP.”
- “Did you come here to talk or to give a lecture?”
- “I’ve never met someone so proficient in making others feel inferior.”
- “You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. You never stop talking!”
- “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the Genius Bar was open for business.”
- “The Know-It-All Convention called, they want their keynote speaker back.”
- “If I wanted a lecture, I’d enroll in a university.”
- “Ah, the sage advice of the self-proclaimed expert.”
- “Is there anything you don’t know? Oh right, humility.”
- “I’m glad you know everything, because I’m exhausted from pretending to listen.”
- “Let me guess, you’ve got a fact for every occasion?”
- “I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a walking encyclopedia.”
- “You must have a PhD in talking down to people.”
- “I see the ‘I Know Everything’ button is still stuck in the ‘on’ position.”
- “If I wanted to feel dumb, I’d just talk to you more often.”
- “I’m glad you’re here to educate us. We were all desperately in need of a lecture.”
- “Do you ever get tired of being the smartest person in the room? Oh wait, you’re not.”
- “If arrogance was a sport, you’d be the MVP.”
- “Did you come here to talk or to give a lecture?”
- “I’ve never met someone so proficient in making others feel inferior.”
- “You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. You never stop talking!”
- “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the Genius Bar was open for business.”
- “The Know-It-All Convention called, they want their keynote speaker back.”
- “If I wanted a lecture, I’d enroll in a university.”
- “Ah, the sage advice of the self-proclaimed expert.”
- “Is there anything you don’t know? Oh right, humility.”
- “I’m glad you know everything, because I’m exhausted from pretending to listen.”
- “Let me guess, you’ve got a fact for every occasion?”
- “I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a walking encyclopedia.”
- “You must have a PhD in talking down to people.”
- “I see the ‘I Know Everything’ button is still stuck in the ‘on’ position.”
- “If I wanted to feel dumb, I’d just talk to you more often.”
- “I’m glad you’re here to educate us. We were all desperately in need of a lecture.”
- “Do you ever get tired of being the smartest person in the room? Oh wait, you’re not.”
- “If arrogance was a sport, you’d be the MVP.”
- “Did you come here to talk or to give a lecture?”
- “I’ve never met someone so proficient in making others feel inferior.”
- “You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. You never stop talking!”
- “The Know-It-All Convention called, they want their keynote speaker back.”
- “If I wanted a lecture, I’d enroll in a university.”
- “Ah, the sage advice of the self-proclaimed expert.”
- “Is there anything you don’t know? Oh right, humility.”
- “I’m glad you know everything, because I’m exhausted from pretending to listen.”
- “Let me guess, you’ve got a fact for every occasion?”
- “I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a walking encyclopedia.”
- “You must have a PhD in talking down to people.”
- “I see the ‘I Know Everything’ button is still stuck in the ‘on’ position.”
- “If I wanted to feel dumb, I’d just talk to you more often.”
- “I’m glad you’re here to educate us. We were all desperately in need of a lecture.”
- “Do you ever get tired of being the smartest person in the room? Oh wait, you’re not.”
- “If arrogance was a sport, you’d be the MVP.”
- “Did you come here to talk or to give a lecture?”
- “I’ve never met someone so proficient in making others feel inferior.”
- “You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. You never stop talking!”
- “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the Genius Bar was open for business.”
- “The Know-It-All Convention called, they want their keynote speaker back.”
- “If I wanted a lecture, I’d enroll in a university.”
- “Ah, the sage advice of the self-proclaimed expert.”
- “Is there anything you don’t know? Oh right, humility.”
- “I’m glad you know everything, because I’m exhausted from pretending to listen.”
- “Let me guess, you’ve got a fact for every occasion?”
- “I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a walking encyclopedia.”
- “You must have a PhD in talking down to people.”
- “I see the ‘I Know Everything’ button is still stuck in the ‘on’ position.”
- “If I wanted to feel dumb, I’d just talk to you more often.”
- “I’m glad you’re here to educate us. We were all desperately in need of a lecture.”
- “Do you ever get tired of being the smartest person in the room? Oh wait, you’re not.”
- “If arrogance was a sport, you’d be the MVP.”
- “Did you come here to talk or to give a lecture?”
- “I’ve never met someone so proficient in making others feel inferior.”
- “You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. You never stop talking!”
- “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the Genius Bar was open for business.”
- “The Know-It-All Convention called, they want their keynote speaker back.”
- “If I wanted a lecture, I’d enroll in a university.”
- “Ah, the sage advice of the self-proclaimed expert.”
- “Is there anything you don’t know? Oh right, humility.”
- “I’m glad you know everything, because I’m exhausted from pretending to listen.”
- “Let me guess, you’ve got a fact for every occasion?”
- “I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a walking encyclopedia.”
- “You must have a PhD in talking down to people.”
- “I see the ‘I Know Everything’ button is still stuck in the ‘on’ position.”
- “If I wanted to feel dumb, I’d just talk to you more often.”
- “I’m glad you’re here to educate us. We were all desperately in need of a lecture.”
- “Do you ever get tired of being the smartest person in the room? Oh wait, you’re not.”
- “If arrogance was a sport, you’d be the MVP.”
- “Did you come here to talk or to give a lecture?”
- “I’ve never met someone so proficient in making others feel inferior.”
- “You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. You never stop talking!”
- “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the Genius Bar was open for business.”
- “The Know-It-All Convention called, they want their keynote speaker back.”
- “If I wanted a lecture, I’d enroll in a university.”
- “Ah, the sage advice of the self-proclaimed expert.”
- “Is there anything you don’t know? Oh right, humility.”
- “I’m glad you know everything, because I’m exhausted from pretending to listen.”
- “Let me guess, you’ve got a fact for every occasion?”
- “I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a walking encyclopedia.”
- “You must have a PhD in talking down to people.”
- “I see the ‘I Know Everything’ button is still stuck in the ‘on’ position.”
- “If I wanted to feel dumb, I’d just talk to you more often.”
- “I’m glad you’re here to educate us. We were all desperately in need of a lecture.”
- “Do you ever get tired of being the smartest person in the room? Oh wait, you’re not.”
- “If arrogance was a sport, you’d be the MVP.”
- “Did you come here to talk or to give a lecture?”
- “I’ve never met someone so proficient in making others feel inferior.”
- “You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. You never stop talking!”
- “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the Genius Bar was open for business.”
- “The Know-It-All Convention called, they want their keynote speaker back.”
- “If I wanted a lecture, I’d enroll in a university.”
- “Ah, the sage advice of the self-proclaimed expert.”
- “Is there anything you don’t know? Oh right, humility.”
- “I’m glad you know everything, because I’m exhausted from pretending to listen.”
- “Let me guess, you’ve got a fact for every occasion?”
- “I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a walking encyclopedia.”
- “You must have a PhD in talking down to people.”
- “I see the ‘I Know Everything’ button is still stuck in the ‘on’ position.”
- “If I wanted to feel dumb, I’d just talk to you more often.”
- “I’m glad you’re here to educate us. We were all desperately in need of a lecture.”
- “Do you ever get tired of being the smartest person in the room? Oh wait, you’re not.”
- “If arrogance was a sport, you’d be the MVP.”
- “Did you come here to talk or to give a lecture?”
- “I’ve never met someone so proficient in making others feel inferior.”
- “You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. You never stop talking!”
- “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the Genius Bar was open for business.”