comebacks for know it alls

Sure, here are some witty comebacks for know-it-alls:

1. “If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth.”
2. “Ah, the resident expert on everything. How charming.”
3. “Congratulations on having all the answers. Shame they’re all wrong.”
4. “If knowledge is power, you must be the next superhero.”
5. “Wow, I didn’t know Google had a walking, talking version.”
6. “I see the ‘Know-It-All’ sign flashing above your head again.”
7. “Let me guess, you invented knowledge too?”
8. “If I need an encyclopedia, I’ll be sure to ask… anyone but you.”
9. “Ever thought of hosting your own TED talk? I hear they love people who know everything.”
10. “You should put ‘Professional Know-It-All’ on your resume.”
11. “And here we have the rare species: The Know-It-All in its natural habitat.”
12. “The oracle has spoken! Please, enlighten us with more of your infinite wisdom.”
13. “You know so much, you should consider renting out some space in your brain.”
14. “If I ever need someone to recite Wikipedia, I’ll give you a call.”
15. “I’m impressed! I didn’t know they made human encyclopedias.”
16. “Are you sure you don’t want to apply for a job at the Library of Congress?”
17. “You know, they say arrogance is the camouflage of insecurity.”
18. “And here I thought I knew things. Silly me!”
19. “I’m so grateful for your constant stream of unsolicited advice.”
20. “Your know-it-all aura is blinding me with its brilliance.”
21. “If only there were a Nobel Prize for ‘Most Informed Know-It-All.'”
22. “I’d be jealous of your knowledge if it weren’t completely insufferable.”
23. “Oh look, another opportunity for you to tell us all how much you know.”
24. “Is there a support group for people addicted to sharing trivia?”
25. “I bet your search history is just a list of ‘Did You Know?’ facts.”
26. “You’re like Wikipedia, but without the ‘Edit’ button.”
27. “Let me guess, you’re allergic to being wrong?”
28. “Ah, the human encyclopedia strikes again!”
29. “If I ever need advice, I’ll be sure to avoid you.”
30. “Do you ever get tired of being the smartest person in the room? Oh wait, you’re not.”
31. “If arrogance was a sport, you’d be the MVP.”
32. “Did you come here to talk or to give a lecture?”
33. “I’ve never met someone so proficient in making others feel inferior.”
34. “You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. You never stop talking!”
35. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the Genius Bar was open for business.”
36. “The Know-It-All Convention called, they want their keynote speaker back.”
37. “If I wanted a lecture, I’d enroll in a university.”
38. “Ah, the sage advice of the self-proclaimed expert.”
39. “Is there anything you don’t know? Oh right, humility.”
40. “I’m glad you know everything, because I’m exhausted from pretending to listen.”
41. “Let me guess, you’ve got a fact for every occasion?”
42. “I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a walking encyclopedia.”
43. “You must have a PhD in talking down to people.”
44. “I see the ‘I Know Everything’ button is still stuck in the ‘on’ position.”
45. “If I wanted to feel dumb, I’d just talk to you more often.”
46. “I’m glad you’re here to educate us. We were all desperately in need of a lecture.”
47. “Do you ever get tired of being the smartest person in the room? Oh wait, you’re not.”
48. “If arrogance was a sport, you’d be the MVP.”
49. “Did you come here to talk or to give a lecture?”
50. “I’ve never met someone so proficient in making others feel inferior.”
51. “You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. You never stop talking!”
52. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the Genius Bar was open for business.”
53. “The Know-It-All Convention called, they want their keynote speaker back.”
54. “If I wanted a lecture, I’d enroll in a university.”
55. “Ah, the sage advice of the self-proclaimed expert.”
56. “Is there anything you don’t know? Oh right, humility.”
57. “I’m glad you know everything, because I’m exhausted from pretending to listen.”
58. “Let me guess, you’ve got a fact for every occasion?”
59. “I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a walking encyclopedia.”
60. “You must have a PhD in talking down to people.”
61. “I see the ‘I Know Everything’ button is still stuck in the ‘on’ position.”
62. “If I wanted to feel dumb, I’d just talk to you more often.”
63. “I’m glad you’re here to educate us. We were all desperately in need of a lecture.”
64. “Do you ever get tired of being the smartest person in the room? Oh wait, you’re not.”
65. “If arrogance was a sport, you’d be the MVP.”
66. “Did you come here to talk or to give a lecture?”
67. “I’ve never met someone so proficient in making others feel inferior.”
68. “You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. You never stop talking!”
69. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the Genius Bar was open for business.”
70. “The Know-It-All Convention called, they want their keynote speaker back.”
71. “If I wanted a lecture, I’d enroll in a university.”
72. “Ah, the sage advice of the self-proclaimed expert.”
73. “Is there anything you don’t know? Oh right, humility.”
74. “I’m glad you know everything, because I’m exhausted from pretending to listen.”
75. “Let me guess, you’ve got a fact for every occasion?”
76. “I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a walking encyclopedia.”
77. “You must have a PhD in talking down to people.”
78. “I see the ‘I Know Everything’ button is still stuck in the ‘on’ position.”
79. “If I wanted to feel dumb, I’d just talk to you more often.”
80. “I’m glad you’re here to educate us. We were all desperately in need of a lecture.”
81. “Do you ever get tired of being the smartest person in the room? Oh wait, you’re not.”
82. “If arrogance was a sport, you’d be the MVP.”
83. “Did you come here to talk or to give a lecture?”
84. “I’ve never met someone so proficient in making others feel inferior.”
85. “You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. You never stop talking!”
86. “The Know-It-All Convention called, they want their keynote speaker back.”
87. “If I wanted a lecture, I’d enroll in a university.”
88. “Ah, the sage advice of the self-proclaimed expert.”
89. “Is there anything you don’t know? Oh right, humility.”
90. “I’m glad you know everything, because I’m exhausted from pretending to listen.”
91. “Let me guess, you’ve got a fact for every occasion?”
92. “I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a walking encyclopedia.”
93. “You must have a PhD in talking down to people.”
94. “I see the ‘I Know Everything’ button is still stuck in the ‘on’ position.”
95. “If I wanted to feel dumb, I’d just talk to you more often.”
96. “I’m glad you’re here to educate us. We were all desperately in need of a lecture.”
97. “Do you ever get tired of being the smartest person in the room? Oh wait, you’re not.”
98. “If arrogance was a sport, you’d be the MVP.”
99. “Did you come here to talk or to give a lecture?”
100. “I’ve never met someone so proficient in making others feel inferior.”
101. “You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. You never stop talking!”
102. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the Genius Bar was open for business.”
103. “The Know-It-All Convention called, they want their keynote speaker back.”
104. “If I wanted a lecture, I’d enroll in a university.”
105. “Ah, the sage advice of the self-proclaimed expert.”
106. “Is there anything you don’t know? Oh right, humility.”
107. “I’m glad you know everything, because I’m exhausted from pretending to listen.”
108. “Let me guess, you’ve got a fact for every occasion?”
109. “I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a walking encyclopedia.”
110. “You must have a PhD in talking down to people.”
111. “I see the ‘I Know Everything’ button is still stuck in the ‘on’ position.”
112. “If I wanted to feel dumb, I’d just talk to you more often.”
113. “I’m glad you’re here to educate us. We were all desperately in need of a lecture.”
114. “Do you ever get tired of being the smartest person in the room? Oh wait, you’re not.”
115. “If arrogance was a sport, you’d be the MVP.”
116. “Did you come here to talk or to give a lecture?”
117. “I’ve never met someone so proficient in making others feel inferior.”
118. “You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. You never stop talking!”
119. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the Genius Bar was open for business.”
120. “The Know-It-All Convention called, they want their keynote speaker back.”
121. “If I wanted a lecture, I’d enroll in a university.”
122. “Ah, the sage advice of the self-proclaimed expert.”
123. “Is there anything you don’t know? Oh right, humility.”
124. “I’m glad you know everything, because I’m exhausted from pretending to listen.”
125. “Let me guess, you’ve got a fact for every occasion?”
126. “I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a walking encyclopedia.”
127. “You must have a PhD in talking down to people.”
128. “I see the ‘I Know Everything’ button is still stuck in the ‘on’ position.”
129. “If I wanted to feel dumb, I’d just talk to you more often.”
130. “I’m glad you’re here to educate us. We were all desperately in need of a lecture.”
131. “Do you ever get tired of being the smartest person in the room? Oh wait, you’re not.”
132. “If arrogance was a sport, you’d be the MVP.”
133. “Did you come here to talk or to give a lecture?”
134. “I’ve never met someone so proficient in making others feel inferior.”
135. “You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. You never stop talking!”
136. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the Genius Bar was open for business.”
137. “The Know-It-All Convention called, they want their keynote speaker back.”
138. “If I wanted a lecture, I’d enroll in a university.”
139. “Ah, the sage advice of the self-proclaimed expert.”
140. “Is there anything you don’t know? Oh right, humility.”
141. “I’m glad you know everything, because I’m exhausted from pretending to listen.”
142. “Let me guess, you’ve got a fact for every occasion?”
143. “I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a walking encyclopedia.”
144. “You must have a PhD in talking down to people.”
145. “I see the ‘I Know Everything’ button is still stuck in the ‘on’ position.”
146. “If I wanted to feel dumb, I’d just talk to you more often.”
147. “I’m glad you’re here to educate us. We were all desperately in need of a lecture.”
148. “Do you ever get tired of being the smartest person in the room? Oh wait, you’re not.”
149. “If arrogance was a sport, you’d be the MVP.”
150. “Did you come here to talk or to give a lecture?”
151. “I’ve never met someone so proficient in making others feel inferior.”
152. “You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. You never stop talking!”
153. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the Genius Bar was open for business.”
154. “The Know-It-All Convention called, they want their keynote speaker back.”
155. “If I wanted a lecture, I’d enroll in a university.”
156. “Ah, the sage advice of the self-proclaimed expert.”
157. “Is there anything you don’t know? Oh right, humility.”
158. “I’m glad you know everything, because I’m exhausted from pretending to listen.”
159. “Let me guess, you’ve got a fact for every occasion?”
160. “I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a walking encyclopedia.”
161. “You must have a PhD in talking down to people.”
162. “I see the ‘I Know Everything’ button is still stuck in the ‘on’ position.”
163. “If I wanted to feel dumb, I’d just talk to you more often.”
164. “I’m glad you’re here to educate us. We were all desperately in need of a lecture.”
165. “Do you ever get tired of being the smartest person in the room? Oh wait, you’re not.”
166. “If arrogance was a sport, you’d be the MVP.”
167. “Did you come here to talk or to give a lecture?”
168. “I’ve never met someone so proficient in making others feel inferior.”
169. “You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. You never stop talking!”
170. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the Genius Bar was open for business.”