funny responses to no way jose

Certainly! Here are some funny responses to “No way, José”:

1. No chance, Lance!
2. Not in a million bazillion years!
3. Negative, Ghost Rider.
4. Not today, Satan!
5. Nuh-uh, honey!
6. In your dreams, Charlie Sheen.
7. As likely as pigs flying.
8. Over my undead body.
9. Not happening, Captain.
10. Are you kidding me, Clark Kent?
11. Haha, good one.
12. I’d sooner win the lottery twice.
13. More chance of snow in the Sahara.
14. Not if my life depended on it.
15. As probable as winning an argument with a cat.
16. That’s about as likely as finding a unicorn.
17. You must be thinking of someone else.
18. Did you fall off the funny tree and hit every branch?
19. Fat chance, Slim Jim.
20. You’re about as right as a left-handed screwdriver.
21. Maybe in an alternate universe.
22. I’ll believe that when my pet rock starts tap dancing.
23. Sure, and pigs will fly.
24. And I’m the Queen of England.
25. You’ve got a better chance of finding Atlantis.
26. That’s like saying Kanye is shy.
27. Not today, Junior.
28. You’re barking up the wrong cheese grater.
29. Keep dreaming, chief.
30. Not even in a parallel universe.
31. And I’m the Loch Ness Monster.
32. You might want to get your crystal ball checked.
33. I’ve got a better chance of winning the lottery on Mars.
34. Tell that to my pet rock.
35. You’re aiming for the moon but hitting the ceiling.
36. That’s like saying Jack Sparrow is a teetotaler.
37. Did you lose a bet or something?
38. You’re about as right as a wrong turn.
39. If wishes were fishes, we’d all cast nets.
40. And I’m the last Jedi.
41. That’s a negative, Ghostrider.
42. Not even on Opposite Day.
43. When pigs fly!
44. And I’m the Pope.
45. That’s like saying coffee is just a suggestion.
46. You’re more likely to win a staring contest with a statue.
47. How about no, Scott?
48. You’ve got a better chance of winning a hot dog eating contest on a roller coaster.
49. If I agreed, we’d both be wrong.
50. That’s as likely as finding a vegan at a barbecue.
51. Nope, nope, nope!
52. Not unless it’s opposite day.
53. Tell that to the tooth fairy.
54. And I’m a unicorn in disguise.
55. More chance of finding a four-leaf clover in a hayfield.
56. You’re closer to finding Bigfoot.
57. Not in this lifetime.
58. Try again next millennium.
59. You’re swimming in the deep end of the denial pool.
60. I’d sooner sprout wings and fly away.
61. As plausible as a unicorn riding a skateboard.
62. Not even if you were Santa Claus.
63. You’re about as right as a clock that’s stopped.
64. Is your fridge running?
65. I’ve got a better chance of winning an argument with a toddler.
66. Not on my watch.
67. As likely as finding Elvis in a supermarket.
68. About as likely as winning an argument with a teenager.
69. Not in a million years of Sundays.
70. Did you take funny pills this morning?
71. That’s like saying pineapple belongs on pizza.
72. And I’m the Easter Bunny.
73. You’re about as correct as a broken clock.
74. I’ll believe that when my pet rock speaks Latin.
75. Not unless pigs start practicing synchronized swimming.
76. That’s about as accurate as a blindfolded archer.
77. Not a snowball’s chance in Miami.
78. That’s like saying cats enjoy baths.
79. And I’m Batman.
80. You’ve got a better chance of teaching a fish to juggle.
81. As likely as winning a staring contest with a statue.
82. Maybe in an alternate dimension.
83. You’re aiming for Pluto but hitting Neptune.
84. You’re in denial deeper than the Mariana Trench.
85. That’s like saying Mondays are everyone’s favorite day.
86. Not even if I bribed a leprechaun.
87. That’s like saying a broken clock is right twice a day.
88. Not even with a map and a flashlight.
89. I’ve got a better chance of growing a second head.
90. Not in this lifetime or the next.
91. You’re more likely to find a needle in a haystack.
92. I’d sooner win a staring contest with Medusa.
93. That’s like saying a tornado is a gentle breeze.
94. Not in a blue moon.
95. And I’m the Queen of Sheba.
96. You’re as right as a left-handed glove.
97. Maybe when pigs do somersaults.
98. I’ll agree with you when rocks start tap dancing.
99. Not even on April Fools’ Day.
100. You’re about as accurate as a weatherman in space.
101. I’d sooner teach a goldfish to play chess.
102. That’s like saying socks are optional.
103. And I’m a unicorn tamer.
104. More chance of finding a mermaid in Nebraska.
105. Not even with a genie’s help.
106. That’s like saying chocolate isn’t delicious.
107. I’ve got a better chance of becoming a professional ninja.
108. About as likely as winning a race against a snail.
109. You’re more likely to win the lottery twice in a row.
110. That’s about as true as the Loch Ness Monster sighting.
111. I’ll believe that when pigs fly backwards.
112. Not unless gravity stops working.
113. That’s like saying shoes are just for decoration.
114. And I’m a superhero in disguise.
115. You’re as right as a square tire.
116. That’s as believable as finding a unicorn in your backyard.
117. Maybe when cows start tap dancing.
118. You’re closer to finding a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.
119. Not unless the sky turns pink.
120. That’s like saying Monday mornings are delightful.
121. I’d sooner win a game of chess against Deep Blue.
122. More chance of finding Bigfoot’s shoe collection.
123. You’re in the denial Olympics and winning gold.
124. I’ll agree with you when pigs fly south for the winter.
125. Not even if I had a time machine.
126. That’s like saying pizza isn’t universally loved.
127. And I’m the Queen of England’s hairdresser.
128. I’ve got a better chance of becoming an astronaut tomorrow.
129. Not unless the sun rises in the west tomorrow.
130. You’re closer to finding a unicorn ranch.
131. That’s about as likely as winning a game of hide and seek with a chameleon.
132. As likely as finding a vegetarian at a steakhouse.
133. You’re aiming for the moon but hitting the ceiling fan.
134. Did you eat funny mushrooms for breakfast?
135. That’s like saying the internet is just a passing fad.
136. You’ve got a better chance of counting all the grains of sand on a beach.
137. Not even if I had a lucky horseshoe.
138. That’s about as likely as a penguin becoming a rocket scientist.
139. And I’m the president of Mars.
140. You’re more likely to find a needle in a haystack during a solar eclipse.
141. That’s like saying a fish needs a bicycle.
142. You’re closer to finding a unicorn’s lost wallet.
143. Not in this universe or any parallel ones.
144. You’re as right as a broken clock on daylight saving time.
145. I’d sooner win a staring contest with a statue made of mirrors.
146. That’s like saying winter in Hawaii is frosty.
147. And I’m the Loch Ness Monster’s personal trainer.
148. More chance of finding a snowflake in the Sahara.
149. Not unless pigs start writing poetry.
150. That’s about as likely as winning a race against a glacier.
151. I’d sooner teach a fish to play basketball.
152. That’s like saying cats enjoy water park rides.
153. And I’m the King of Atlantis.
154. You’re as right as a map on the moon.
155. I’ve got a better chance of becoming a world-class tightrope walker.
156. More chance of finding Bigfoot’s phone number.
157. Not unless the Sahara becomes a ski resort.
158. That’s like saying clouds are made of cotton candy.
159. You’re closer to finding a leprechaun’s pot of guacamole.
160. I’ll agree with you when pigs learn to dance the tango.
161. Not unless my pet rock starts a book club.
162. That’s about as likely as winning a staring contest with a fish.
163. And I’m the captain of the starship Enterprise.
164. You’re more likely to find a unicorn in your living room.
165. That’s like saying socks have feelings too.
166. I’ve got a better chance of winning an Olympic medal in synchronized snacking.
167. As likely as finding a superhero convention in a phone booth.
168. You’re aiming for Mount Everest but hitting a molehill.
169. Did you fall out of the joke tree and hit every branch on the way down?
170. You’re closer to discovering Atlantis.
171. I’ll agree with you when cows fly.