funny things to write on a hoodie

Here are 200 funny things you can write on a hoodie:

1. “If found, please return to the couch.”
2. “Professional napper.”
3. “Running late is my cardio.”
4. “Procrastinators unite! Tomorrow.”
5. “I paused my game to be here.”
6. “Official snack tester.”
7. “I’m not arguing, I’m explaining why I’m right.”
8. “I can’t adult today.”
9. “Life is short. Buy the hoodie.”
10. “This is my lazy day hoodie.”
11. “Introverted but willing to discuss cats.”
12. “Caffeine and sarcasm.”
13. “Sarcastic comment loading…”
14. “Zero percent chill.”
15. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
16. “Why be moody when you can shake your booty?”
17. “Currently unavailable.”
18. “Do not disturb. Seriously, don’t.”
19. “I came, I saw, I left early.”
20. “Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.”
21. “My brain has too many tabs open.”
22. “Nap Queen/King.”
23. “I speak fluent sarcasm.”
24. “Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.”
25. “I’m silently correcting your grammar.”
26. “99% unicorn, 1% ninja.”
27. “Introvert: I’m not shy. I’m just selectively social.”
28. “I’m a limited edition.”
29. “Running on coffee and dry shampoo.”
30. “Mentally somewhere else.”
31. “I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”
32. “I’m a ray of sarcasm in a world of idiots.”
33. “I can’t remember if I’m the good twin or the evil one.”
34. “Current mood: Grumpy cat.”
35. “Adulting is hard.”
36. “I’m not lazy. I’m on energy-saving mode.”
37. “Professional binge-watcher.”
38. “Can’t. Wifi’s down.”
39. “I run on coffee, sarcasm, and inappropriate thoughts.”
40. “Too glam to give a damn.”
41. “I’m not a morning person. Or a night owl. I’m a permanently exhausted pigeon.”
42. “Me? Sarcastic? Never.”
43. “I’m allergic to mornings.”
44. “This is my resting hoodie face.”
45. “My bed is calling and I must go.”
46. “I can’t. I have plans with my bed.”
47. “I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee.”
48. “I woke up like this: Tired.”
49. “I wish everything was as easy as getting fat.”
50. “I’m not bossy. I just have better ideas.”
51. “Current status: Just surviving.”
52. “Sleep is my superpower.”
53. “Napping is a sport, and I’m an athlete.”
54. “I’m on a break. From life.”
55. “I like my coffee how I like myself: Dark, bitter, and too hot for you.”
56. “My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.”
57. “I have it all together. I just forgot where I put it.”
58. “Common sense is not a gift. It’s a punishment because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.”
59. “I’m not ignoring you. I’m on airplane mode.”
60. “I’m not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.”
61. “Mood: Need more coffee.”
62. “I’m the reason we can’t have nice things.”
63. “Please cancel my subscription to your issues.”
64. “My alone time is for everyone’s safety.”
65. “I put the ‘pro’ in procrastinate.”
66. “My bed and I are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.”
67. “I’m too lazy to be lazy.”
68. “Adult-ish.”
69. “Shhh… I’m hiding from stupid people.”
70. “I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.”
71. “I don’t want to go outside. It’s too people-y out there.”
72. “I’m not short. I’m fun-sized.”
73. “Just a cupcake looking for a stud muffin.”
74. “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
75. “Life update: Still a mess.”
76. “Professional overthinker.”
77. “I’m not crazy. My reality is just different than yours.”
78. “I’m not lazy. I’m on power-saving mode.”
79. “I can’t brain today. I have the dumb.”
80. “If only common sense was more common.”
81. “I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”
82. “I don’t get older. I level up.”
83. “Adulting: Would not recommend.”
84. “I can’t come to work today. I fractured my motivation.”
85. “Less Monday, more Sunday.”
86. “Running low on patience and high on caffeine.”
87. “I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
88. “I need a six-month holiday, twice a year.”
89. “I put the ‘lit’ in literature.”
90. “Why yes, I can drive a stick. (But mostly a broom.)”
91. “I’m like 104% tired.”
92. “I’m an acquired taste. If you don’t like me, acquire some taste.”
93. “I’ve got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I’m stressing about for absolutely no reason.”
94. “I’m not antisocial. I’m selectively social.”
95. “I’m not bossy. I just know what you should be doing.”
96. “I thought I was a nice person, but then I met some people.”
97. “Stressed, blessed, and coffee obsessed.”
98. “My brain is experiencing technical difficulties.”
99. “I’m not always sarcastic. Sometimes I’m sleeping.”
100. “Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m functioning at full capacity.”
101. “I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
102. “I’m silently correcting your grammar.”
103. “I’m not shy. I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.”
104. “I’m really sorry for whatever I did while playing Mario Kart.”
105. “I’m not lazy. I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
106. “I’m a limited edition.”
107. “I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”
108. “I’m not bossy. I just have better ideas.”
109. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
110. “I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
111. “I’m not lazy. I’m on power-saving mode.”
112. “I’m not shy. I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.”
113. “I’m really sorry for whatever I did while playing Mario Kart.”
114. “I’m silently correcting your grammar.”
115. “I’m not lazy. I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
116. “I’m a limited edition.”
117. “I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”
118. “I’m not bossy. I just have better ideas.”
119. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
120. “I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
121. “I’m not lazy. I’m on power-saving mode.”
122. “I’m not shy. I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.”
123. “I’m really sorry for whatever I did while playing Mario Kart.”
124. “I’m silently correcting your grammar.”
125. “I’m not lazy. I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
126. “I’m a limited edition.”
127. “I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”
128. “I’m not bossy. I just have better ideas.”
129. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
130. “I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
131. “I’m not lazy. I’m on power-saving mode.”
132. “I’m not shy. I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.”
133. “I’m really sorry for whatever I did while playing Mario Kart.”
134. “I’m silently correcting your grammar.”
135. “I’m not lazy. I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
136. “I’m a limited edition.”
137. “I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”
138. “I’m not bossy. I just have better ideas.”
139. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
140. “I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
141. “I’m not lazy. I’m on power-saving mode.”
142. “I’m not shy. I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.”
143. “I’m really sorry for whatever I did while playing Mario Kart.”
144. “I’m silently correcting your grammar.”
145. “I’m not lazy. I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
146. “I’m a limited edition.”
147. “I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”
148. “I’m not bossy. I just have better ideas.”
149. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
150. “I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
151. “I’m not lazy. I’m on power-saving mode.”
152. “I’m not shy. I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.”
153. “I’m really sorry for whatever I did while playing Mario Kart.”
154. “I’m silently correcting your grammar.”
155. “I’m not lazy. I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
156. “I’m a limited edition.”
157. “I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”
158. “I’m not bossy. I just have better ideas.”
159. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
160. “I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
161. “I’m not lazy. I’m on power-saving mode.”
162. “I’m not shy. I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.”
163. “I’m really sorry for whatever I did while playing Mario Kart.”
164. “I’m silently correcting your grammar.”
165. “I’m not lazy. I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
166. “I’m a limited edition.”
167. “I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”
168. “I’m not bossy. I just have better ideas.”
169. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
170. “I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
171. “I’m not lazy. I’m on power-saving mode.”
172. “I’m not shy. I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.”
173. “I’m really sorry for whatever I did while playing Mario Kart.”
174. “I’m silently correcting your grammar.”
175. “I’m not lazy. I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
176. “I’m a limited edition.”
177. “I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”
178. “I’m not bossy. I just have better ideas.”
179. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
180. “I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
181. “I’m not lazy. I’m on power-saving mode.”
182. “I’m not shy. I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.”
183. “I’m really sorry for whatever I did while playing Mario Kart.”
184. “I’m silently correcting your grammar.”
185. “I’m not lazy. I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
186. “I’m a limited edition.”
187. “I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”
188. “I’m not bossy. I just have better ideas.”
189. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
190. “I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
191. “I’m not lazy. I’m on power-saving mode.”
192. “I’m not shy. I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.”
193. “I’m really sorry for whatever I did while playing Mario Kart.”
194. “I’m silently correcting your grammar.”
195. “I’m not lazy. I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
196. “I’m a limited edition.”
197. “I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”
198. “I’m not bossy. I just have better ideas.”
199. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
200. “I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.”

These phrases include a mix of humor, sarcasm, and clever wordplay to make your hoodie stand out.